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The Shocking Truth about Your Hidden Self Esteem |
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What I found out about self esteem that turned my life around. My endless search came to a halt when I realized the reason I felt so bad was I didn’t love myself or like myself for that matter. I know that may sound easy and not shocking, but what is shocking is that most people who suffer from low self esteem don’t realize it is the relationship with them selves that is causing it. Or should I say the lack of the relationship. At the time I really never thought about it that way.
I always wondered , “How do you know if you love yourself?” It’s funny but when you know you won’t need to ask. For me, I had to start with liking myself first. The process of love starts with like. If you don’t like yourself, stop for a moment and ask why?
The Self Esteem Process That Helped me Immensely
I used this process and it helped me immensely. I want to share it with you. The process starts with writing out on a piece of paper what you don’t like about yourself. Do the best you can here to get real. No one else will read this so be honest.
1. Write out what you don’t like about yourself.
Now take a look at your list.
Whether the list is long or short I want you to take the first item on the list and write it on the top of a separate sheet of paper.
2. You now have one item on the top of the paper. An example may be: I don’t like that I care about what other people think of me.
Write on the page how that makes you feel. Go into detail here and really get it out. Are you angry? Does that make you feel like you can’t be yourself? What is the feeling that is attached to this belief? Have the feeling. This is important. Let the feeling move you to write about it, there is nothing here you can do wrong, write whatever comes up for you.
3. Once you have purged all of the emotion behind the thought,say: “I now release these feelings to the Universe. I don’t need them anymore.”
You can make a gesture here if you like with your hands a letting go type of movement. Shake your hands and let the energy roll off you.
Self Esteem and Acceptance
4. The next step in building self esteem is acceptance. Acceptance of your self and the feelings you have, knowing that you are not a bad person because you have a belief about something that is not working for you.
Once you notice that it doesn’t serve you, and you release it you can relax. That is where acceptance comes in. You’re not fighting it anymore, you are noticing it and letting it be,once you have done what you can. (the process of getting it out and letting it go) Trust in the process of the Universe.
Self Esteem and Taking on a New Action
The most important part to building your self esteem is gaining the respect for yourself. When it comes right down to it, it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about you, but it does matter what you think of yourself. Once you have your list and you have written it all down and purged it out, it’s time to start a new list.
5. This is a list of New You Actions I like to call them. When I started to do contrary actions to things I had on my list, my self esteem soared. Let’s say you have on your list that you are selfish. Start to notice in what ways are you selfish? Once you have determined that you can start to take the opposite actions.
For example, If you don’t spend enough time with your family or if you never go out of your way for a stranger. Just being aware that you are selfish in its self will start to bring about the change. To speed up that change make a list of all the new actions you will start doing.
I wrote an article called pay it forward where I talk about some of the actions I started to take when I was going through the process of taking on a new action. In that article I describe some of the unexpected gifts I received just from being in an unselfish place.
6. Work on one new opposite action to incorporate into your day. An example of an opposite action can be, today I am going to find something good about everyone I come in contact with and I will share that one good thing with them.
Simple things like that make a huge difference in peoples lives. When you bring joy to others you feel good about yourself. Before you know it you will really start to like yourself. Like is the beginning of loving yourself. When we do self esteem able acts we feel good about whom we are as people.
The process is the same as when we love another person. There is something about them that makes us feel good about us which is the reason why we like them. If you make yourself feel good about you, you will like you too.
It’s important to remember to keep your daily New You actions steps fun. Think outside the box about something you can do today that is out of the ordinary for you. Something that will make the people who know you very well say, “So and So did WHAT?!”
You will see how this process continues to grow and out of that growth comes a person you can truly say you admire respect and love. If you don’t feel that way about yourself how can expect anyone else to?
Wishing you all the success the universe has to offer!
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