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Written By  Dawn Abraham

6 Mind Blowing Verbal Communication Skills That Win Friends and Influence People

Great verbal communication skills will take you anywhere you want to go. If you are like most people, myself included that is the bottom line. People do not just want to get their point across they want to be liked, accepted and remembered.

star in 3 d reads speak your truth

You don't agree with that? When was the last time you wrote a blog or anything for that matter and didn't want a lot of people to read it? If you're being honest with yourself you would also happily accept an award for your blog or have it placed in a magazine, the list goes on.  

Bottom line we are all want to be recognized for a job well done. 

I reveal my top secrets I have used successfully in business and not always used in romantic relationships to be honest. I have used them in this last relationship and so far this is the best and by far the longest relationship I have ever had. Read them carefully there is more here than meets the  eye. :)

Top Six Verbal Communication Skills

1. Verbal Communication Skills - Let the person know you care about who they are. Connect on a Deeper Level:

When you take the time to touch someone's soul, you will have a friend for life. In today's world where the next best thing is only a click away, your focus or lack of it sends a clear message. When you focus on someone, it tells them: What you have to say matters to me.

If you start out asking for something before that connection has been made you failed...

People have to like you before they go out of their way to help you. Even then it's much better if you do for them first what you're asking them to do.  If you don't care about them, why would they care about you?

By starting out with you, it tells people that your reason for interacting with them is selfish. That is a turnoff for most people since everyone's favorite subject is them.

How do you send the verbal communication message that you care? By asking about them, and if you really want to make a great impression do your homework and find out a little about what they like and ask them about that and score big points. If you are in-person, you have a big advantage since you can show the person with your actions.

Start out by looking at the person before you talk. I mean really focus and feel their energy. Your attention is the greatest gift you can give. If you engage with a person before you even open your mouth, you will draw them in.

Stop and look them in the eye, then start asking questions about THEM and experience how easy the conversation flows. The person who talks the most always thinks the conversation was successful.

2. Verbal Communication Skill- Don't Expect People to Read Your Mind Ask for What You Want:

Whether you are in a business relationship or a romantic relationship when the time is right let the other person know what is important to you. If your birthday is the most important day of the year and you expect your romantic partner to treat you like royalty on that day you need to communicate that clearly. To assume that someone who is dating you should know what is important to you and what isn't is a huge mistake.

You won't find anyone on the planet that feels the exact same way you do about everything or even most things. That is why verbal communication is important if you want a successful relationship of any kind. You may think that your romantic partner is your soul mate and that means they can read your mind and know your every thought.

Don't expect anyone to automatically know how you feel. That will save you a great deal of pain when it comes to people and relationships. That is one of the biggest predicaments people encounter when it comes to long lasting relationships, thinking if someone loves you they would do this or say that or go here or be there.

Forget all of that and know this, everyone has a distinctive perception about life and what is significant and what isn't. When someone meets another person they don't all of sudden see life through the eyes of the other person just because they have an attraction. Your Verbal communication skills are how the other person is going to know what you like what you don't and how to treat you.

3. Verbal Communication Skill- Pay Attention and Listen

Miscommunication nine out of ten times is because you never heard what the person said to begin with. Pay attention to what the other person is saying. Don’t take that time while they are talking to think of what you are going to say.

The greatest verbal communication tool is listening.

More secrets are written in-between the lines and to catch those hidden meanings you need to pay attention to the other party you can't do that if you're talking or thinking.

Check in and ask if you heard correctly before you jump to conclusions.

Red lips with red hearts floating out to show communication

4. Verbal Communication Skill- Don't Blame Others for Your Feelings.

When you are talking say I, Take the "you" and "we" out of your vocabulary. You only know how “YOU” feel. Example: I feel hurt because I hoped you would call me today before my doctor appointment, I don't feel loved.

What you’re doing here is, owning that statement and not blaming the other person. They may not think calling you before a doctor appointment is a big deal. You are verbally communicating your feelings without putting the other person on the defense. The minute you put someone on the defensive you are no longer in a win-win situation.

Remember this if nothing else: “If one of you wins you both lose.”

6 Mind Blowing Verbal Communication Skills

5. Verbal Communication Skill- Be Honest:

Tell the truth. You would be amazed how much easier just telling the truth is. By this, I don’t mean to blurt out some hurtful fact about the other person.

Be kind and loving but always tell the truth. You don't want to start any type of relationship based on lies or half-truths. Once a person loses faith in you, it's very difficult to turn that around.

The most important quality you have is your word; hold on to that like the prized position it truly is.

6. Verbal Communication Skill: Never Make the Person Wrong

Don't make the person wrong.  If you don't see eye to eye that doesn't mean they are wrong and you are right. It simply means they have a different perspective. Both of you are right; it can't be any other way.

When you make someone wrong, you take the risk of offending them and you will never make friends that way. Listen to what they have to say and then thank them.

A perfect example would be "Thank you for bringing that to my attention you may be right."

You didn't say they were right but you didn't say they were wrong. If you think about how you felt the last time, someone made you wrong you will get the point.

There is something to the saying would you rather be happy or be right? I would much rather be happy I can be right anytime.

To re-cap; If you follow these straightforward rules, take time to connect, ask for what you want, listen intently, don't blame others for your feelings. Don't make the other person wrong and be honest you will start to see a magical difference in the way people respond to you.

You will have succeeded in your quest for a successful verbal communication not to mention you will start to gain friends and build relationships that have substance and that will last you a lifetime.

I would love to hear all about your own verbal communication tips.  The more the merrier.

If you are having trouble with your career or business let's talk.  Usually when people are stuck in their business or having a difficult time getting started it's because they don't have a brilliant experienced mentor or coach to help them.  

If you are trying to do it alone because you don't have the money to get professional help don't worry I have programs and groups that are affordable, and you can make payments if you need to.  Get your FREE 15min. consultation  Let's get your party started! 

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