How to Get Verbal Communication Skills That Build Relationships That Last a Life Time

How do you develop captivating verbal communication skills that get you want you want easily and effectively. The secrets I revel in this article are what I call, the secrets to success tool box.

It’s not only knowing how to verbally communicate, it’s about being willing to go that extra mile. Most women are much better at Communicating than men. That has a lot to do with the fact that we use both sides of our brains.

Don’t worry if you are lacking in the verbal communication area you’re in luck! In this article I share with you some easy to follow communication skills that will turn you into the hit of any party, help you gain more friends and get you business to boot. Who doesn’t want that?

Before we start I want you to take a deep breath and get centered with me. Breeeaaathh!!!!!

When you take the time to touch someone's soul you will have a friend for life. In today's world where time seems to be an issue and the next best thing is only a click away your focus or lack of it sends a clear message. When you focus on someone it tells them: I'm into you. You matter. You are important to me.

If you start out with asking for something when you have not yet connected the odds that you won't get what you asked for and you won't get any farther then that.

Why won't you get what you asked for? If you have no relationship with the person yet this is your first impression. You can pretty much say 100% of the time you just turned off the person right from the gate. If you know the person but haven't spoken to them in awhile and you open with something about you and your needs, 99% chance you won't get what you are asking for and that is where your re-connection will end.

People have to like you before they go out of their way to help you. If you don't care about them why would they care about you?

By starting out with you it tells people that your reason for interacting with them is selfish. That is a turn off for most people since everyone's favorite subject is themselves.

How do you send the verbal communication message that you care? By asking about them, and if you really want to make a great impression do your homework and find out a little about what they like and ask them about that and score big points. If you are in-person you have a big advantage since you can show the person with your actions.

Start out by looking at the person before you talk. I mean really focus and feel their energy. Your attention is the greatest gift you can give. If you engage with a person before you open your mouth you will draw them in.

Stop and look them in the eye, then start asking questions about them and experience how easy the conversation flows. The person who talks the most always thinks the conversation was successful.

If you start with YOU, you lost them 100% of the time. Always start with THEM.

2. Verbal Communication Skill- Don't Expect People to Read Your Mind Ask for What You Want:

Whether you are in a business relationship or a romantic relationship when the time is right let the other person know what is important to you. If your birthday is the most important day of the year for you and you expect your romantic partner to treat you like royality on that day you need to communicate that clearly. To assume that someone who is dating you should know what is important to you and what isn't is a huge mistake.

You won't find anyone on the planet that feels the exact same way you do about everything or even most things. That is why verbal communication is important if you want a successful relationship of any kind. You may think that your romantic partner is your soul mate and that means they can read your mind and know your every thought.

You would be wrong, don't expect anyone to automatically know anything. That will save you a lot of disappointment when it comes to people and relationships. That is one of the biggest problems people have when it comes to long lasting relationships is thinking if someone loves them they would do this or say that or go here or be there.

Forget all of that and know this, everyone has a different perception of life and what is important and what isn't. When someone meets another person they don't all of sudden see life through the eyes of the other person just because they have a attraction. Verbal communication is how the other person is going to know what you like what you don't and how to treat you.

Everyone see's life through their unique experiences. If your partner never celebrated their own birthday it will be difficult for them to feel the same way you do about birthdays.

They can certainly understand once you verbally communicate to them how important birthday's are to you.

If you want a big party say you want a big party, if someone figures this out without you having to tell them that is not proof of how they feel about you it simply means they sensed correctly.

What you’re doing here is creating a win- win situation which is exactly what you want to achieve when communicating successfully.

3. Verbal Communication Skill- Pay Attention and Listen:

Miscommunication nine out of ten times is because you never heard what the person said to begin with. Pay attention to what the other person is saying. Don’t take that time while they are talking to think of what you are going to say.

The greatest verbal communication tool is listening.

More secrets are written in-between the lines and to catch those hidden meanings you need to pay attention to the other party and you can't do that if your talking.

Check in and ask if you heard correctly before you jump to conclusions.

4. Verbal Communication Skill- Don't Blame Others for Your Feelings.:

When you are talking say I. Take the "you" and "we" out of your vocabulary. You only know how “YOU” feel. Example: I feel hurt because you forgot to call me today before my doctor appointment and to me that means you don't care about me.

What you’re doing here is, owning that statement and not blaming the other person. They may not think calling you before a doctor appointment is a big deal. You are verbally communicating your feelings without putting the other person on the defense. The minute you put someone on the defensive you are no longer in a win-win situation.

Remember this if nothing else: “If one of you wins you both lose.”

5. Verbal Communication Skill- Be Honest:

Tell the truth. You would be amazed at how much easier just telling the truth is. By this I don’t mean to blurt out some hurtful fact about the other person.

Be kind and loving but always tell the truth. You don't want to start any type of relationship based on lies or half truths. Once a person loses faith in you it's very difficult to turn that around.

The most important quality you have is your word, you don't ever want to mislead or misrepresent who you are or your intentions.

I continually find it funny when someone wants to get out of something and asks me what should I say? My response is “Why not tell them the truth?” They always laugh and say hey your right so much easier.

Extra Verbal Communication Tip: Never Make the Person Wrong:

Don't make the person wrong. If you don't see eye to eye that doesn't mean they are wrong and you are right. It simply means they have a different perspective. Both of you are right, it can't be any other way.

When you make someone wrong you take the risk of offending them and you will never get what you want that way. Listen to what they have to say and then thank them.

A perfect example would be "Thank you for bringing that to my attention you may be right."

You didn't say they were right but you didn't say they were wrong. If you think about how you felt the last time someone made you wrong you will get the point.

There is something to the saying would you rather be happy or be right? I would much rather be happy I can right anytime.

If you follow these simple rules, take time to connect. Ask for what you want. Listen intently instead of thinking what your next sentence will be. Don't blame others for your feelings. Be honest. Don't make the other person wrong.

You will start to see a magical difference in the way people respond to you. You will have succeed in verbal communication not to mention that you will start to gain friends and build relationships that have substance and that is always a good thing.

I would love to hear all about your own verbal communication tips. If you have a question or problem with verbal communication ask it here. I will answer it as soon as I can. In the mean time feel free to answer any of the questions asked here. The more the merrier.

Jump in and join the conversation.

Related Article: Easy and Effective Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills So You Get Ahead.

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