Dina, Hi! I am sorry that you are going through this pain right now as I read your words I can feel it. I have to say I have learned a few things in my life the hard way and one of them has to do with men, relationships and men who can't or won't commit.
If any person doesn't want to be with you or for some reason feels afraid or whatever, it is never worth it to push that. When we feel we are loosing something we want it even more.
As I read your story I remember that pain you are feeling and the first thing I want to tell you is, that most of what you are feeling is the feeling of loss and that you can not have something. That feeling tends to be overwhelming. When we can identify the feeling for what it is, it makes it easier to get over.
You said that you are not like other women and that you can't move on. That is only true if you tell yourself that. I remember feeling like that more than once and now I can barley remember their names let alone move on. Who?
The way I look at relationships today is from a place of do I want any particular person in my life? Not do they want me. If someone can't or won't commit that is a sign and the sign say's let go.
You are a gorgeous women with a lot to offer, I promise you, you can live without him. You may think you can't but you can. That he is back and forth can't look you in the eye and is leading you on the way he seems to be is not a good sign.
My intuition and experience tells me to tell you, you will be much happier in the future and with someone else. Dina you don't want to ever give your power away to anyone like that. If someone needs to move on in their life for whatever reason, let them go and wish them well.
Your pain is coming from the resistance to letting him go not the act of letting him go. Once you do let go you will feel free. If he comes back great but first you must let go. It may feel like you are going to die but no one has ever died from their feelings.
Another important lesson I learned was that not everyone who comes into our life is meant to stay in our life forever. People will come and go and that includes men. It is okay, look at what you gained from that relationship and what you have learned and take those gifts with you into your next relationship.
Life isn't meant to be this painful so don't chose the pain chose the freedom and know that you have a choice. Once you let him go you may find out that he can't live without you. If you don't find that out well than, why would you want him?
Also read my article on dealing with change. That will help. I wish for you all the happiness and love the Universe has to offer. Dawn
