I want to end my marriage!

by LOST
(Lebanon)

Hi. I've been suffering from a decision I took about 16 years ago: marrying someone I'm not so fond of! I am 33 now, and I still can't accept that this isn't the end of the world. He's a very good person: calm, honest, faithful, dependable...but there's no love!

At first, I was soooooooooo attached to him that I almost forgot I had parents and siblings. I couldn't do anything or go anywhere without him. But he didn't show the same feelings. He even used to tell me that it was too much and that I should get a life and have friends and maybe visit my parents more often.

Another thing that disappointed me in marriage was my sex life. I used to adore making love, but he made me feel frustrated about it. He didn't allow it to happen frequently saying that it was unhealthy! He also made me miserable by staying away from me for a month to three when we used to have fights. I used to beg him to talk to me, but he was so harsh and had no mercy.

I didn't realize there were other things to care for in life until last year. I made some friends, and I started going out with them. I even had men as friends at the school where I teach. He then realized he had lost me! All the love I used to give him had gone! We started having more fights, and I was frank with him and told him he meant nothing to me anymore.

When I asked for a divorce, he was shocked! He was so sure he had me. And he started treating me cruelly...I didn't mention that his family is unfair with me. They always give me a hard time and interfere in everything, and the problem is he listens to what they say.

I tried to get a divorce, but my parents stood in my way because I have two kids (12 & 9). I don't feel I can go on this way; we both know I don't care about him anymore, and now he realizes he has caused this! What should I do? Stay with him for the sake of my kids?