I have to say that reading the responses to my letter Lost in America has made me feel so much better.
I really got something from each response. I received love understanding compassion and insight.
Halina you are right I do judge myself and those feelings were coming from me not the other person at all.
Jaia sharing your experience really made me feel like I wasn't alone in this. Sometimes that in itself is enough.
Dawn thank you for your understanding and having a place where I could say my honest feelings and get so much back, that I really never expected.
God Bless You.
Mar 30, 2008 Rating
We are mirrors for each other by: Halina
Hi
You may not like what I'm going to say here. Yet it is the truth. It can support you in moving on, or you can dismiss it and stay where you are.
Sometimes it's very difficult to really see yourself. We tend to see only parts of ourselves. But then, we have each other to reflect things for each other. We mirror each other. We support each other this way, even if it doesn't look this way.
When you experience other people judge you, you can be quite certain that they are mirroring your attitude towards yourself. At some level, you are judging yourself and controlling yourself. I don't know how but I imagine that you're hard on yourself when it comes to so called negative sides of you. You don't accept them. You don't love yourself unconditionally. In fact, you "doing everything under the damn sun to help people" is connected to your judgment of yourself.
You need to take a good look at this and it's not an easy thing. It takes time at work.
If you do and find ways to transform your judgment (which is not an easy thing), you will eventually see it reflected in your "mirrors" - in other people.
So, what you're doing now is screaming to the mirror: Stop reflecting me, stop reflecting me. That won't get you anywhere.
Working on transforming what gets reflected - parts of you - will.
You are not really lost. That's an illusion. If you want, you will eventually find yourself, and feel home.
Best wishes
Halina
http://www.busting-loose.halinagold.net
Mar 29, 2008 Rating
Found in America by: Anonymous
Lost in America,
Your words really touched me- along with the Lost-in America itself, since it seems so many are lost in America, given the superficial cultural basis, the bling and blang society.
Some years ago I was saying and thinking the same exact things. The exact same things, and it kept getting worse.
There was a book called the Power of Positive Thinking that I found, but now there are also things like the movie the Secret which talk about the same kind of stuff- law of attraction stuff- and we tend to get what we focus our thought and energy on.
At first this feels like an insult-you know-because technically you are not the one at fault---but, if the premise is true, and I have certainly found it to be, that what we focus on is what we attract into our lives, especially if it is said or thought with strong emotion, then we are the one at fault to continue to put our focus on situations that we don't want.
It really is a form of addiction in the sense that it is very hard to stop the cycle. Because they are wrong!! But, what might happen if you made a concentrated effort to not let it get to you?
To do a 180 and think instead of something opposite. For the secret to work you have to work it. I went from 100 pounds overweight, depressed, addicted, broke, in an abusive marriage to a complete transformation.
My life amazes me these days. The transformation was deeper than just thinking other thoughts, but that part is true too. If you ask for an answer, it will be given. If this answer doesn't feel right to you, keep asking until something comes that works....best wishes, and I will hold in my mind that you are found in America :)
Jaia Lee www.livingbeyondbelief.com
Mar 10, 2008 Rating
I feel your pain! by: Dawn
Something that has helped me in the past when I feel the way you do. I realize that the primary cause of my unhappiness is never the situation but my thoughts about the situation.
It sounds to me like you are not only doing the best you can but going above and beyond what most people do. I admire that. Usually when someone tries to make someone else feel bad, they are reflecting their own thoughts about life onto the other person.
You have the right idea when you said it is their problem.
I have no idea what or who it was that upset you so much but I do know one thing only you can give them the power that will keep you feeling bad.
As long as you know what you give and who you are even if one person here or there misses it, it's okay. There will always be someone you are going to disappoint no matter how hard you try to please everyone. I know I have learned that the hard way.
I am glad you felt that you had a place where you can vent and let it go. I hope you know that you are heard and I feel you.
Wishing you all the love and peace the Universe has to offer!
