Natacha, Thank you for your question. I am sure there are many people who can relate to how you are feeling. It sounds to me you are not being true to yourself.
The life you are living right now is not adding to you it is depleting you. Only you Natacha can change that. Ask for the courage to look within to see what you need to do in this life to stay true to yourself.
You have the answer; I think you are afraid to look at it. That is the dilemma with knowledge once you find the answer then what are you going to do about it?
You mentioned that you feel energies holding you down. Those are your fears. Look closely at exactly what fear it is that is holding you back. I suggest you spend some quite time asking yourself, What am I afraid of? Get to that place where you have cleared away the ego.
Find that space in you that is at peace, use mediation to get you there. Then when you are there, ask your higher self, What am I avoiding? The answer will come, if not right then soon.
To address your statement, your spouse is energetically holding you back. No one can hold us back but ourselves. There is something about the relationship that you feel is constricting.
When you look to yourself for the answer there again you will see how some expectation you have about your husband or the relationship is what is really getting in the way.
It is okay if your partner is not where you are spiritually, as long as you feel good about where you are and what you are doing.
That is what seems to missing here. You don't feel good about it. Make a decision about what you want to change in your life going forward.
Find out what is missing for you and then get into action and have someone hold you accountable so you follow through with it and watch how everything starts to change.
Remember you and only you can decide the course of your life. It is time you started to take some risks. Go outside your comfort zone Natacha. You know what you want to do with your life, you need to start moving in that direction.
