Love Problems...Being Faithful?

by Ryan

I have a question. I have been in a relationship for about 2 and a half years with a girl named Meaghan. For the first year, we barely got intimate... and there were absolutly no problems.


We never fought, never had disagreements... Virtually no problems whatsoever. I took her virginity about a year into the relationship, and slowly, like a creeping storm... problems started to arise.. mostly within myself.

It seems now that I've estabilshed myself into this commitment, I keep second guessing myself. She is a very emotional person, very committed to the idea of a 1 on 1 relationship... and I'm most certainly more open (or curious) about multiple relationships (not deceptive, definetly consentual), and specifically, sexual desires that involve multiple people. Sometimes I wish I hadn't even met her until these traits were out of my system. Besides these complicating desires, we are compatible in almost every way.

The more I look into the ideas of the Law of One, and how the Seperate Self is the cause of all the worldly problems... I begin to question where this problem really lies, in myself or her?


She is wrapped up in selfish emotions like jealousy and possessiveness. I know if I ever 'fooled around' with anyone else (which the desire grows every day), that she would never forgive me.


This is not a quality of unselfish, and unconditional love. I know I would forgive her for anything, and it pains me to know that she does not feel the same. I'm trying to teach her these things, in hopes that it will open her up to fulfilling my desires... But at the same time, that seems extremely selfish. I can't figure out where the selfishness lies, or how to solve it.

I want to make her happy, becuase she means everything to me, but at the same time I'm faced with balancing a paradox of the seperate self.

I'm constantly dealing with intuitions that tell me to leave her for her own benifiet... but it would also crush her into a deep state of depression for a long time. Its a complicated, delicate situation... and I'm looking for some sort of guidence.

I apologize for getting far too personal, but you seem like the kind of person who would give me some valuable input on this sort of matter.

Thank you for your time and I'm anticipating your response.

Love, Ryan