To Divorce or not to Divorce? that is the question

by Silvia
(California)

I have been married for almost 28 years and about 3 years ago I found out that my husband was having an affair that was supposed to have lasted almost 10 years off and on. I was broken hearted to say the least but still gave him an opportunity to prove to me that he loved me and wanted to make our marriage work. Now almost 3 years from the "D-Day" (that's what I call the day the bomb hit me), I am not happy. I often get on what I call the "Fool Wheel" that keeps me on an never ending cycle of madness and rollercosters. I am really tired, but have been asking myself when am I going to be happy?

What are my real fears about separating or divorcing? I asked my angels and spirit guides to help me find the truth, however pain full it may be. I'm afraid of being alone, where to start, what to do? I considered myself an independent woman, but have let go and have become dependent on him.

I have two grown children 19 and 25. They are still at home. I don't want them to be part of another broken home. Most of my 7 siblings are divorced. I don't want to fail! I can pretend that all is well for awhile, but the monster emerges once again right on time to ruin my life again. My parents fought a lot and they stayed married for more than 55 years. My dad was unfaithful and my mother stayed. she only prayed to stop loving him so it wouldn't hurt so much. I wished she had left him! Now it's my turn and I don't have the guts to tell him to leave. I'm scared!

I don't know if you can help me with some advice or insight but I would greatly appreciate any feedback.

also, I am looking at taking the course to become a life coach myself. I have always been good at helping others, but when it comes to me..... I feel lost right now. oH by the way both my husband and myself are 52 years old.

Thank you and God Bless

Namaste

Silvia Noriega