"What do you do?"

by Manuela
(Thailand)

After a walk through the jungle above Chiang Mai, Thailand

Thank you for the invitation to post a question. I appreciate your dedication to helping people.

I would like to ask a question.

I have been stumbling through life for the last few years not living in abundance struggling to make ends meet because I've been trying to define exactly what it is that I want to do with myself.

I have many talents and some good education but I feel inadequate. I am not a master at anything and I have a hard time answering the question of, "What do you do?" because I've been out of work a lot.


The times I have been working, I've just been relieved to be able to answer with a simple statement but at the same time that has come with a feeling of not living up to my potential.


Mostly, they've been jobs that I can barely keep up with my expenses and so it drains me as I race to "figure out" what I'm doing. My jobs have not held much passion for me. Yet, when I've had an idea, I've been stuck unable to work towards it due to some kind of financial block.

The problem is that I have so many interests (which is a great one to have) and I find it hard to stick to only one to make money.

The way I understand what I'm here for is to network many concepts and theories together, showing how things are more interrelated than we realize. All my life I've had a great interest in human health(be it due to nutrition, environment, spiritual/mental/physical practices)... I finished a BA in Psychology and in that was lucky to take an anatomy course working on human cadavers. I began studies in architecture school but could not justify continuing as I sacrificed my own health.


After my father passed of cancer, my direction became somewhat clearer. I began my own fasting, cleansing, colonics, herbal tonics... Studying iridology and nutrition.


Since then I have tried and loved breathwork, Vipassana meditation, yoga, hydrotherapy.... Though I tried these, I would have liked to have been more consistent in continuing my practices.


I've always felt an affinity for touch, knowing that somehow I'm able to feel energies flowing underneath my hands but this is still something I would like to continue to develop.

I've recently taken a craniosacral course, which I feel is one of the most lovely gentle massage techniques that I've been introduced to. I've also been working with an EEG technology that most closely resembles neurofeedback. This opportunity has been wonderful yet I'm feeling like I'm being slotted in as a technician, becoming committed to something I'm not sure I want to spend so much time on.

I've always felt that there is power in our human potential and I don't want to become dependent on a machine, meanwhile losing my creative healing abilities. Pretty much every kind of energy work appeals to me. I can understand these healing paths in relation to each other and I incorporate a version of each piece of knowledge into my own understandings. I would like to develop my "6th sense abilities".

Recording my dreams has been important to me over the last few years, occurring in bursts of activity. I love to incorporate channeling light energy into everything I do.

As you can see, there is a multitude of "things" I could do to make money but the issue is that I don't know how to be abundant in what I'm doing.

Somehow I don't know how to plan to make money or my feelings of being just inadequate, stops me.

The neurofeedback technology would be a great way to make money but it is also dependent on my commitment to my partner who invested time and money into buying the technology. I have been struggling with committing to him so it has been difficult committing to a project with him. Is it a fear of commitment in general?


Why do I struggle to answer the question, "what do you do?.... for MONEY that is?"