Why do I feel such anger and bitterness and hurt from hearing about my ex getting engaged?

by Rachel E.
(Ontario, Canada)

Dawn, I have tried for over a year now, to move on with re-building my life after a very painful separation and divorce. I started dating and having joy again and loved the sense of peacefulness I finally reached.


I just found out through a well-wishing friend that my ex-husband got engaged to a woman he met while we were going through separation (we are not yet divorced, though it is imminent). I was his second wife and we are not on speaking terms, however, he is good friends with his first wife, who happens to be his business partner and mother of his boys.

I did not expect the complete shock I experienced as I heard the "news". The hurt and the emotional pain came flooding back at the level I did not expect.

Why such a reaction to this? I loved this man with all my heart and he broke it - so I understand some of it. However, I am a very practical person and understand that our relationship was flawed.

Please help me understand why my rational self is so overwhelmed with hurt and bitterness.

Thank you