Why Me? How Can I change? I Want it Now!
by Jen-Irishu
(Brisbane Queensland Australia)
How many times do we live in the why? The victim of the past? And yet again, how many of us live in the how? lack of trust?
Most people I meet either through my work, or socially, seem to be carrying around wounded hearts. Walking along the ocean shores, I watch those who leave behind footprints in the sand, and wonder what their life story is.
Has it been as tumultuous as mine? Were they thinking to themselves. Why me? I say to myself, when my mind slips into that old negative mode of thinking,well, why not? Without the past, I would not be the person I am today. A strong and confident woman, one who is on an enormous mission to better herself, and the planet we call home.
Knowing God like I do, I KNOW He/She loves giving surprises. Yet our human psyche always wants everything now. Not content to just let it happen, we continually ask, how is it going to manifest?
I call it being a control freak. I wrote in Messages of Love: Those who appear in control are in fact people who are out of control, trying to be in control! Complicated creatures aren't we? It is scary being out of control. It is scary having to trust the Universe will provide, on all levels. It is scary jumping over the cliff of fear into the void below, knowing all will be well.
Looking back to my anorexia days,15 years of them. I realized food was the only thing I had full control over. My life was spiraling into such a deep abyss, I felt as if I had no power over the reins I was trying so hard to keep hold of. My boat was heading downstream totally out of control.
Instead of lifting my oars and enjoying the ride,no matter where it took me, I decided to row.
Instead of flowing with the current, I was exhausted from fighting it. What did I do? I still didn't let go, understanding these were lessons I needed to learn.
I decided to use the one thing I could use to stay in control,that was food, or lack of it. As I watched my bones protrude, I ate less. Yes,it gave me power,or so I thought, not realizing at the time it rendered me powerless! I was afraid of living in the now.
I have learned living in the now is such a freeing experience. I LOVE surprises from God! It is so exciting and childlike to be handed a present you didn't expect, out of the blue.
My dad, Harry, said to me the last time I saw him, two weeks before he flew, "Jen let go of all your worries, nothing matters,just live!" Thanks Dad for your beautiful words of wisdom. How right you were and are.
Look at life as if you are an artist painting a picture. As you finish your life on canvas, stand back a take a good look. Is it from the past, present or future? If your painting is from the past, look deep into your hearts and heal that part of your life that needs healing.
The past is over now,that part of your play is been completed. You may say to me you have painted a happy picture. Then, what I would say back to you is, to learn how to recreate that same feeling you felt back then and bring it into the now. As that feeling must be something that is missing in you life.
If your painting is in the future,you do not trust the surprises God has in store for you. Do not worry about a second past the now,it is out of your control.
If your painting were about something you would like to do today,well,what is stopping you? Go on, put down your paintbrushes and get on with it.
Life is so simple if you would allow it to be. It is time to lift your vibrations to a higher level and you will then paint a picture that matches your hearts.
In Harmony, Peace and Love,
Jen xxx
Do the great while it is still small. The souls work shines like gold."
Jen-Irishu, Author of Messages of love: my spiritual awakening, The Angel Series for Children; The Angel in my dreams, and soon to be released, The Adventures of Angela and Eli.
jen-irishu.com
inharmony7@hotmail.com
